How Tinder Made Me Believe in Privilege

I'm sure everyone has seen the Princeton's student's complaints about 'White Privilege' and his pedantic blog post about his grandparent's struggles and how his hard work should not be discredited just because of his external appearance.

And I know, I am one of many who read it and saw his disastrous news appearance and discredited him for his views. I also know, this is not much to do with filmmaking, as my blog is focused on... yet I am compelled to write about it as I had an experience tonight that truly opened my eyes to what it means to be privileged.



Privilege is not about what you know you have or are awarded, it is about what you don't realize you are awarded because of who you are.

This has nothing to do with race, gender, or religion. It all boils down to - what you don't appreciate.

Tonight my girlfriend and I decided to play Tinder Roulette. For the new and naive, Tinder is a dating app - or game as I like to think of it - where singles (or non-singles) connect their Facebooks and swipe left (no thanks) or right (mmm, date?) and are matched from there.

We played a game where whoever I was matched with we messaged to meet us at the restaurant we were having pitchers of beer at. It was a fun, harmless little thing that I thought would result in... well, nothing.

What I really learned was what privilege is.

See, two men showed up. One, was a tall blonde, a little drunk from having fun with his roommates, college educated etc. He had a stick up his ass. He seemed quite uptight to find not only my girlfriend there but another Tinder gentleman. He had his beer and left.

The other - well he was attractive, French, no accent and quite intelligent, sociable and well spoken - a lot of fun, and he bought us two pitchers of beer! A winner? Yes, I'd say so. It wasn't until after we left the bar and headed out for falafel that I saw his hand... He was disabled, his right hand was... not useable.

And this is where the idea of privilege hit me in the face.

You see, privilege is not about knowing what struggles you've faced or what battles you've had to fight to get where you are. No, privilege is about the struggles you've never had to face - whether it is being a caucasian male/ethnic male/caucasian female/ethnic female.

I realized then, that: Wow. This guy has a way harder time finding a mate than any of us can fathom. Because in the grand scheme of pay scale or college education, finding your significant other really takes the cake.

I, as an Asian Female, who has many struggles of her own (being taken seriously, being seen as many tropes or stereotypes etc.) will never have to face what this gentleman had to face. His whole life he has had a visible handicap that separates him from the rest. And as charming, as funny, as down to Earth as he was... you could not unsee his lack of privilege.

So, for the Princeton undergrad, no one is saying you've never had to struggle or face problems... but what everyone is saying, is that you cannot realize what privilege you have in being healthy, male and caucasian.

We are all gifted with the power of life and freedom to view my blog post right now. There are so many other possibilities we could have been born into: civil wars, North Korea, a child in war torn Afghanistan... and yet, we are gifted with the privilege to be debating privilege.

It is not until you walk or understand another's life that you can see what privilege is. And what this random Tinder encounter made me realize, is that privilege is subjective. It doesn't matter what sex or race you are, he was educated, male, caucasian, charming... and yet, his hand will prevent him from enjoying many aspects of life that we take for granted.